Goodbye Bend Aeronautical Dreams

A short one today, I promise hbm.

Well, we basically are watching the demise of one of the biggest attempted grifts in Bend history, and that is saying something.

Epic Air finally folded. You may be able to detect my incredulity about this little wingding in my Oct 1, 2007 post:

How To Make $100 Million A Year In Bend, Oregon

Which one of these guys apparently invested $200,000,000 in a Bend aircraft maker this week?

1) Peter Tork of "The Monkees"
2) Rip Taylor
3) Liberace
4) Indian Billionaire, Vijay "Jazzy Jeff And The Fresh Prince" Mallya

I know, it's hard to figure cuz each has One Sweet Ass Fuckin' Hair Doo! I mean, WTF? Did anyone else see that pic in The Bulletin, and wonder what the hell is up with that dudes hair? I mean, DAMN.

ATTENTION INDIAN DUDE: That sweet-ass tight fro may have landed the ladies in 1973, but that thing is just weird!

Anyway, this is YET ANOTHER STORY THAT DOESN'T PASS THE SMELL TEST.

I wrote in the comments: This whole thing SMELLS BAD.

$200MM (if true), values Epic at $400MM. WHAT! No way. With 140 employees, that is almost $2.9MM/employee.

No freakin' way is that real.

Boeing market cap is $82.52BB
Employees: 153,000
Value/Employee: $540,000

Is this Indian Dude INSANE? He's valuing a po-dunk little maker of kit planes out in the desert at more than 5X the per employee value of BOEING?

Man, if this Rick Schrameck guy actually convinced this nut to pay $200MM for 50%, he is One Hell Of A Shyster. Valuing Epic at well over 5X the relative value of Boeing on an employee basis is straight up INSANE.

That Rick Schrameck dude has pulled off the Bend Enterprise Investment Marketing Boondoggle Of A Lifetime. He got rocks.

Bangin' a friend of his for $200MM, for only HALF of Epic, a podunk nut'n out in the desert. That's one thing. But he did it while RIGHT NEXT DOOR, there is a much larger competitor GOING BANKRUPT! Holy Shit! That is just brutal!

Seriously, it is stuff like this that reaffirms my faith in The Impossible.

If this is true, which I seriously doubt, this guy has pulled off a dot-com era boondoggle the likes of which this town will never see again. Good job Rick!

See, this was never possible. This Epic thing was EPIC: Epic-ly Impossible.

Now you might think, "What the fuck happened to the money?". Well, my dear friend, there NEVER WAS ANY MONEY. NEVER.

See if you can detect the misdirection by Costa:

‘A big shot in the arm for the Bend economy’
By Anna Sowa / The Bulletin The Bulletin

The $200 million investment by an India-based airline mogul in Bend’s Epic Aircraft could help the local airplane maker break into the commercial jet market by producing larger planes for larger companies, an Epic spokesman said Thursday.

“It’s extremely likely that the Bend facility will grow substantially and contribute more to the job market in Bend,” said Lyn Freeman, the Epic spokesman who revealed how much Vijay Mallya is investing in Epic.

“It will be a big shot in the arm for the Bend economy, but how big a shot it turns out to be ... I don’t know.”

Epic employs 140 people in Bend. Epic President and CEO Rick Schrameck announced Wednesday that Mallya, his friend and fellow aviation buff, was investing in the company, but Schrameck did not disclose the investment’s size.

Mallya representatives could not be reached for comment the past two days, but Freeman said Mallya’s office has confirmed the $200 million investment.

Mallya now owns 50 percent of Epic, Freeman said, adding that Mallya “has insisted” that Schrameck remain as company chief.

You see? There are about 46X where Costa intimates that the investment HAS ALREADY BEEN MADE. Or that it is already in check form, merely being flown to CACB at warp speed. Or that it is ABOUT TO BE MADE. Or that it is pretty much a foregone conclusion. Or that it will probably be made. And about 400 other states of progress on getting the money.

Seriously. This is our local paper's idea of "news".

What really happened here is our local guy got RICK Schmareck ROLL'D by a true global super grifter.

Vijay Mallya singing his one hit wonder to Rick Schrameck.

What's funny about this is that Costa bought into his own munificience, and thought one of his hillbilly stupid motherfucking drinking buddies could actually roll with the big dogs. Jeebus H Christmas, what a dumbfuck.

This is Bend, COSTA. NOBODY of any substance does ANYTHING in Bend. Small fish, small pond.

That 3 year bubble was a fluke, it wasn't you, or me, or anyone sort of "exceptionalism".

As we are all starting to see, Bend is Mortal. And we have built an enormous false prosperity based on an incredible set of lies: Summit 1031, Tammy Sawyer, Jay Audia, Juniper Ridge, Cessna, Epic.... and on and on.

This whole area is built on the idea that you can start something without any real substance, I don't know... such as... a wheel you drag behind your car that somehow powers the car... or a black box where you burn shit, and the ashes somehow turn to gold.

The Last Thing You Do In Bend is WORK. Start a business based on some definable need.

No you Do What You Love And The Money Will Follow, and things like that.

Bend is built on dreams, dreams that are bought and sold, despite having no real definable business objective or need, and certainly no revenue stream. We're in a state of suspended animation, always selling our speculative dream to yet a bigger sucker.

And here is where it ended. Epic really was going for the EPIC GRIFT. And you can FEEL THE DESPERATION of just how bad Costa wanted us to reel in and boat that Mallya Bass. He basically said we had already boated that bass, when in reality Mallya hadn't even bit.

And so with the collapse of Epic, and Cessna as well letting go the last of it's zombies, we see the end of the Bend Aeronautical Dream. And you certainly won't be reminded, but this Dream was our Big One. It was going to power Bend's economy for the next 1,000 years.

Epic was going to have 4,000 employees. But that was a piker, as Cessna was going to have tens of thousands. Not to mention the tens of thousands of "support" companies that would crop up by the hundreds at the Bend International Air Complex.

All gone.

No, now the Bend Municipal Airport will go down. It may well go broke. The virtuous circle will Yet Again, become a vicious cycle, as a vortex of death just drags down everything caught in it's rip current.

And history will RHYME yet again in the future.

Communal Frisk Bank (aka Priney Bank) was closed Friday. Eff-Dick swooped in and closed this little bank that could... not.

What should you look for now? Well my thick headed confidante, if you don't know the answer to that, you are well and truly a motherfucking retard.

The answer is that CACB is The Next To Fall. PERIOD.

In a pathetic Beg For Cash piece in the Bully (Cascade Bancorp: Where does it stand?), Patty "Horse Face" Moss answers the question:

CACB Stands In A Shitpile Of It's Own Making.

CACB cannot get money from ANY SOURCE. Not the government, not it's biggest owner, not the mafia, NO ONE.

And the piece is a non-stop BEG-O-THON for someone, ANYONE, to give Moss cash munee. It is quite clear that ALL SOURCES HAVE BEEN EXHAUSTED, and she resorted to a public PLEADING FOR MONEY. ANYONE. PLEEZE GIMME MUNEE!

You should know that most institutions don't even deign this sort of activity as acceptable, and they would rather SHUT THEIR FUCKING DOORS than publicly beg for munee.

Not Moss. Because she knows fully well that Eff-Dick is going to pay her a visit VERY SOON. She needs millions or CACB's charter WILL BE PULLED.

Prediction: IT, OF COURSE, WILL BE PULLED. The money is gone.

You see folks, the Grift Always Fails In The End. The Moving Around Of Money is just that. It doesn't DO anything. It doesn't MAKE anything. Lots of sound and fury signifying NOTHING.

But COSTA wanted us all to believe that it signified EVERYTHING.

That Mallya actually WAS Schrameck's FRIEND. No. They were NEVER FRIENDS.

That InEn Tec's Garbage To Gold Black Box was actually a Real Life Rumplestiltskin-esque spinning wheel that would turn shit into Gold.

That Cessna would plop down in the middle of ASS NOWHERE and start building planes.

That Patty Moss was actually some sort of financial genius, when she is really a horse-faced dumbass who drank her own Kool-Aid.

You have heard, and will no doubt continue to hear that Bend is Xanadu, a mythical place where all your dreams and flights of fancy will come true.

And everyone hears what they want to hear in that situation. You? You want to start a cooking supplies store? No problem, your wish is granted!

How about a furniture store or an art gallery? You can't fail!

Car dealership? A swipe of the magic wand guarantees success.

You see, in Bend, our Game Is The Grift. Has been for decades.

And by a miracle of happenstance, we were in the right country, the right era, and the right instant in time, and it actually seemed like all our dreams and flights of fancy could actually come true.

But of course, that's not true, and was the reason for starting this poor little despised blog. A little Wake Up Call to tell people that you can't Get Something For Nothing Forever. Much to hateful chagrin of those who hoped differently, we are starting to see the unraveling of the Bend Web Of Lies.

Epic Air, Cessna, the thousands of foreclosures, the tumbleweed ridden and abandoned developments, the mass of business closings, the incredible unemployment, the ridiculous movie-themed housing developments/amusement parks, the imploding prices...

All the lies that we've been sold are finally being exposed for what they are. And you need to realize that the Guilty Parties are:

JOHN COSTA & BEND MEDIA
BEND CITY COUNCIL
PATTY MOSS & CACB
EDCO & OTHER TAXPAYER FUNDED BOONDOGGLES
CROOKED DEVELOPERS & LENDERS (SUMMIT 1031 & RENAISSANCE, et al)

These people will leave this town completely broken and 100% busted. Get your fucking torches & pitchforks and run these motherfuckers out on a rail.

Costa, my nippies get hard when you get Rick Roll'd!

I got Epic Juggs!
In short hbm, I think you're all wet!