Welcome to Mumbai, Oregon!

Can't do a full-scale rant today, so I'll just post some interesting snippets, so we can all get right to the comment-goodness.

A Long Time Ago, In a Town Not So Far Away, I bought a really old Sci-Fi book at a place called The Bookmark. It was like a lot of buys that happen at places like this: It was a little treasure, a little gateway back to my youth, a book I read in my teens, a little reminder of the naive me-of-olde, and it was only $1.50.

It was a quasi non-fictional thesis called "A Step Farther Out" by Jerry Pournelle, an old 1970's era Sci-Fi writer who, when paired with Larry Niven, put out some good stuff. It was a survey of pop-tech and other sci-fi grandiose schemes that Pournelle thought would solve our problems.

Anyway, I guess what was sort of funny about re-discovering this book (it's been boxed up for 6-7 years now), is that Pournelle is addressing his audience as if there is this chronic & terminal disasterous condition with the World. It was written just after the Oil Shock, so I guess that's understandable.

But he writes also with the implied assumption that the Earth is going to become imminently unlivable due to pollution. He posits that population growth is completely out of control, and it'll lead to Standing Room Only within decades. He talks as if food-shortages in Africa are all but inevitable for the rest of the World.

He takes this stance that he is rebuffing The Pessimism Of The World. He's taking a stand, fighting back, and he's going to put out some Damn Pragmatic Solutions. Things such as mining asteroids, converting the Worlds oceans into farms, and quite a bit of other flying-car-in-every-garage-nuclear-power-plant-in-every-house stuff that never happened.

I guess what was really strange about this was the dissonance with what actually happened after Pournelle wrote this.

The malaise ended.

There was a huge explosion in growth, but it was not at all like Pournelle envisioned it. All the pessimism just sort of melted away.

But what's also funny is that some of the problems that he outlined as intracable, never went away. The Earths population has kept growing. Africa is still starving to death. We pollute more than we ever have.

The Oil Shock ended, but other problems of equal or greater importance remained. They're still here today.

But what fundamentally changed was The Attitude about our problems. They just changed. The pessimism just sort of went away. I guess other Feel Good topics like Growth just usurped the importance of Live Aid, and other stuff like that.

I'm not entirely sure what I'm trying to say about this, other than this planet has seen times when it looked like The End of Days before. It was just so long ago, no one except real Geezers remember it.

And I'm Not saying The Bad Times Manifested Themselves In 2 Years Just Like Now, So We Can Rest Easy because It's All Over. No. The malaise of the 1970's took a decade plus to work itself out. It took a long time. We're in the 2nd or 3rd inning.

I don't know, I guess it was sort of comforting to know that what is happening today is not totally unprecedented. We've been down before. We've been almost pathologically pessimistic about it, too.

But, it did end. After a long time, it did end.

Next --

We found out what we pretty much knew all along: Patty Moss & Co are frauds.

Cascade Bancorp posts wider adjusted fiscal 2008 loss

Friday, Cascade Bancorp Inc. (CACB), the holding company for Bank of the Cascades, said it made adjustments to its preliminary financial results to include goodwill and asset impairment charges, additional provision for loan losses, resulting in a wider net loss for the year.

Including the non-cash goodwill charge and other adjustments, net loss for fiscal 2008 was $134.6 million or $4.82 per share, compared to a net loss of $21.2 million or $0.76 per share reported in the preliminary unaudited earnings release dated January 29, 2009.

Right. All of a sudden, not in normal earnings season, MossCo woke up & found out that their Idaho acquisition of Farmers & Merchants bank was a 100% LOSER. They wrote off 100% of the F&M goodwill.

This is becoming Standard Op Procedure for MossCo. Last quarter it was "Hey, wow, whoa! You know we just found out due to SOFTWARE ERROR, we actually LOST A SHITLOAD MORE MONEY than we originally told you. Sorry."

Now it's a HUGE LOSS, that will result in the near-nuking of CACB's net worth:

Cascade Bancorp (Oregon) Announces Filing of Form 10-K Annual Report and Audited Financial Statements; Adjusts Preliminary 2008 Results Due to Goodwill Impairment and Additional Provision for Loan Loss

2008 return on book equity and tangible equity decreased to (47.90%) and (80.51%) respectively, from the previously reported (7.02%) and (11.79%). At December 31, 2008, the Company's reserve for credit losses was $48.2 million or 2.46% of total loans and NPA's are reduced by $22.9 million to $159.4 million or 7.0% of total assets.

SO they went from a small ding to earnings to a near WIPE OUT of tangible equity. When you lose 80.51% OF TANGIBLE EQUITY, YOU ARE FUCKED. One good point to this is the tax benefits, but you have to BE ALIVE to recognize such benefits, and CACB's stock price telegraphs a different story.

So you'd think the CEO would have a pretty sobering & concrete response? Hell No! This is Bend!

Patricia L. Moss, CEO said, "We are in serious times and actions will influence outcomes. The challenges we face reflect the stress the economic downturn has caused to our customers, businesses, friends and neighbors, and community at large. We are resolved to play our part in helping the community address the challenges we share, and to progress toward an improving economic future together." Moss continued, "Local deposits from our communities are essential to the economic health in the markets we share.

We are encouraging the community to keep their money local to the benefit of our shared economy. Community banks effectively redeploy their deposits back into our communities." To this end, Cascade has provided additional assurance to customers by participating in the Temporary Liquidity Guarantee Program which provides unlimited FDIC insurance for all transaction account deposits through 12/31/09.

Commenting on loan quality, Moss said, "We continue to fund our reserve for loan losses to ensure we have provided resources under the current adverse economic conditions. In addition, we have written down a substantial portion of the residential development loan portfolio that has proven to be most negatively affected by the downturn.

Residential development now represents just 10% of our credit portfolio while the majority of the Company's loans continue to perform well. I am gratified that we have taken these actions on the credit side and exceed benchmarks for a well-capitalized bank."

OK, there are several statements of concern, but this is the most startling:

"We are in serious times and actions will influence outcomes."

What the fuck! This is where you know you are dealing with a truly deranged lunatic. Moss has just LOST 80% of the net worth of the biggest bank in Central Oregon, and all she has is some sort of whacky identity logic?

"We're in the shit, and if A= B, and B = C, then A = C. Thank You."

My God, what a fucking idiot. Everytime Moss opens her mouth, I realize that the banking system of Central Oregon as we know it, is 100% DOOMED. This vacuous dumbshit is at the helm of a sinking ship. Know that CACB at $1.22, is INFINITELY OVERVALUED. It is worth NOTHING.

I formally retract all my previous statements that it is "almost worthless". It is 100% WORTHLESS.

Next --

There's some scapegoating going on with some pretty unlikely characters lately.

Someone posted the Jon Stewart crucifixion of James Cramer in the comments. I saw it, and it was pretty good. Jon Stewart is a relatively clear thinking guy, and he tears Cramer a new corn chute. He backs Cramer down pretty well, something Cramer richly deserves.

Then Dunc posted the tut-tut-tut titled Jesse, Jesse, Jesse..., about Jesse Felders point of view on his blog, My Back Pages:

You've been talking this way for months now, and the market continued to decline that whole time. (Don't forget to leave out that little fact.) You started talking about 'bottoms' and then it would drop some more, and then you'd talk about 'bottoms' again, and it would drop some more.

Now you've even gone so far as to post an article in the Bulletin. Are you so sure it won't drop some more? Especially housing prices? Look at the Bend Economy Bulletin Board, and you'll see prices are still 99.9% down arrows.

Is it really your advice to ignore that and buy now? Really?

Jesse's been calling a bottom since I've started wiping my own bottom: About 6 months ago. And let's face it, he's been dead wrong.

And finally, the vultures have descended on Buffett himself, with articles like "Warren Buffett has lost his touch", "Is Warren Buffett Crazy?", "Bill Gates' foundation dumps shares in Warren Buffett's Berkshire", and it goes on and on.

And to add insult to injury, Buffett's Bershire (along with GE), has lost it's Golden Boy AAA status. There were only a handful of companies on Earth that had been bestowed that honor, and Buffett used it every chance he got to peddle more insurance.

So we're all supposed to jump on the Cramer-Madoff-Felder-Buffett scapegoat bashing bandwagon?

No. Well, Madoff, Yes. But Cramer is a dumbfucking stock tout, he doesn't know what else to do. The fact that the dumbshit fucks chickens on his show to get ratings is more a reflection of American tastes than anything.

He's an entertainer more than anything. If you don't get that, and you actually take his advice, You Are A Dumbass.

Felder. Again, here's a guy just posting his opinion. And for the time being, he's wrong. Fuck, I threw my retirement in 100% a few months ago. 100% WRONG. So far. Sure as hell did not and will not buy at the bottom.

So Felders wrong too. Big fucking whoop. Again, if you take someone's advice to heart, it's not their fault, it's yours. Man the Fuck UP, and admit that you are responsible for your life.

I lost my retirement money, not Felder. Conversely, when (if) things turn around, I will not be sending Felder a commission.

This same thing goes for Buffett. He touted GE right before it took a huge dump, he even bought a shitload of it. So Buffett ate his own cooking, and he's now paying. Big F-ing Deal.

Everyone Loses In A Black Swan.

But we're starting to go after people indiscriminately.

OK, Madoff deserves to die. I mean he just deserves to be stoned to death, nude, over the course of weeks. With his dick in a meat grinder. And maggots eating out his eyes.

But Buffett, Felder, and Cramer are just fallible. Shit, that goes for all of us. These guys are just wrong, that's all. Is Felder digging his own grave deeper by the day? Hell yes. Nobody's perfect. Remember the Opening Of The Second Comic Book Store On 3rd? Hey, but for the grace of God....

That's the one thing ALL THESE PEOPLE have in common: NONE saw THIS coming. Look at Cramer's video: He calls this episode "one in a million". It's not that, but it's still pretty damn rare.

And by "THIS", I mean the utter meltdown of the World's financial system. Which brings us to...

Next --

I saw on NBC's nightly news that the total Worldwide toll of the financial meltdown has been approximated at $50 TRILLION.

$50,000,000,000,000 is a lot of money. That's like $8,000 for every single person on this planet.

I know, you're thinking, "I got way more than that!". OK, good. But the vast majority of the planets population doesn't even have a fraction of that. If you started at the bottom, and just systematically wiped out the net worth of the Earth's poorest, moving towards the wealthiest, with a $50 trillion dollar vacuum, you would probably wipe out well over 95% of all individual net worth on this planet.

95% of the World would be flat-ass broke. Probably more like 98-99%. 95% is extremely conservative. Extremely.

Just an illustration of The True Total Cost of What The USA Housing Bubble Really Is. It's set us back 2-3 decades. It's set others back 2,000 years.

ECONOMIC REPORT
Household net worth plunges 18% in 2008

Consumers pay down debt for first time on record in fourth quarter
By Rex Nutting, MarketWatch
Last update: 2:35 p.m. EDT March 12, 2009
WASHINGTON (MarketWatch) -- Hit by a double whammy of declining home prices and a falling stock market, U.S. households saw their net worth fall by $11.2 trillion, or 18%, to $51.5 trillion at the end of 2008, wiping out four years of gains, the Federal Reserve reported Thursday.

In the fourth quarter alone, household net worth fell by $5.1 trillion, a record 31% annualized decline. Consumers lost $937 billion on the value of their real estate. Their direct holdings of corporate equity dropped by $1.68 trillion, while holdings in pension and life insurance reserve dropped by $1.46 trillion. Mutual-fund holdings fell by $730 billion.

Net worth has fallen for six straight quarters since peaking at $64.4 trillion in the second quarter of 2007. Net worth -- defined as assets minus liabilities -- is down 20% from the peak. The decline in wealth was accompanied by a sharp pullback in consumer spending at the end of the year.

According to Commerce Department data, real consumer spending fell at a 4.1% annual rate in the final six months of 2008, the sharpest decline since 1980.

Economists figure consumers will spend about 5 cents out of each additional dollar of wealth, or cut spending by about 5 cents for every dollar lost. "Consumers have turned a lot more cautious and are saving more," said Richard Berner, chief economist for Morgan Stanley.

In the longer term, Berner sees a "sea change in consumer behavior" that will bring the personal savings rate to 7% or 8% within the next few years as consumers begin to understand that quick and easy increases in wealth aren't likely. "Households are being forced to rely less on rising asset prices and more on their paycheck to fund everyday living expenses," wrote Drew Matus, an economist for Bank of America/Merrill Lynch. "In other words, frugality is coming back into fashion."

The decline in net worth raises the risks of deflation, Matus said. He said money supply growth turned negative in the fourth quarter, based on more complete information about the shadow banking system.

Lost decade

At the end of the year, households owned $9.9 trillion in equity shares outside of pension plans, less than the $11.3 trillion they owned in 1998. At the end of 2008, assets fell by $11.3 trillion to $65.7 trillion. Liabilities fell $87 billion to $14.2 trillion. Home owners' equity in their houses fell to a record low 43%.

"It's an old lesson: Asset values can fall quickly, but debt lingers!" wrote Bill McBride on his blog, Calculated Risk.

At the same time their assets were falling, households were taking on less debt, deleveraging their balance sheets after five years of double-digit growth in debt.

In the fourth quarter, households paid off more debt than they took on for the first time since at least 1952, when the Fed began reporting the information in its quarterly Flow of Funds report.

Household debts fell at a 2% annual rate in the quarter, including a 1.6% decline in mortgage debt and a 3.2% decline in consumer credit, including credit cards and auto loans. For all of 2008, household debt rose just 0.4%.

Since the early 1950s, debt had never risen less than 5% in a year.

Businesses also took on less debt.

Total debt grew 4.8% in the corporate sector after a 13.4% gain in 2007.

In the fourth quarter, corporate debt increased at a 2.2% annualized rate, the slowest since early 2004. The federal government made up for the deleveraging by families and businesses, however.

Federal debt increased 24% in 2008 and rose at 37% annual rate in the fourth quarter. Total nonfinancial debt -- individuals, businesses and government -- rose 5.8% in 2008 and increased at a 6.3% pace in the fourth quarter. It was the slowest annual increase in debt since 2000.

I know hbm likes to think of the poor in America as being crushed by unfeeling corporate behemoth monsters. And that's fine. But in the grand scheme of things, WE are the richest 1%. America is ridiculously wealthy by global standards.

If you actually suctioned up the $50 trillion in losses, the losses suffered by this country as a whole have been miniscule. Worldwide wealth decimation by the poor has been catastrophic. And I mean people with only a few hundred bucks to their name after a lifetime of toil.

The poorest American's are 1,000X better off than them. At least we have something to lose.

Next --

Just a little note about the min wage dogshit jobs that iSky is bringing BACK to Central Oregon.

I mean, I don't want to look a gifthorse, and apparently neither do a lot of other hungry folks, from the 200 applicants TRG got on Day 1.

But let's face it: NO ONE CAN SURVIVE ON THESE SHIT WAGE JOBS. NOT HERE.

Central Oregon always has been and always will be about the EXPLOITATION of locals. You are dogshit to the machine. You're the fucking pigs anus, cat entrails, hobo arm, and leather boot that goes into Central Oregon's LOW WAGE SAUSAGE FACTORY.

This place takes YOUR LIFE & turns it into SAUSAGE. You are dog shit. If you went to iSky, you are on the road to DOG SHIT.

Please, even a single person tell me otherwise. PLEASE! iSky doesn't have a single Family Wage job available. Nada. They have SAUSAGE JOBS. They turn lives into DEAD DICKS.

That is REAL BEND. I don't really want to pick on iSky, when this same fundamental truth applies to about 107% of Central Oregon Employers. They are a meat grinder, and you are a horses asshole.

It's a commentary on the nature of this place. It's where we are going. The Bend of Olde. If you don't like the sound of working for peanuts, losing your house, and living on China Hat Road turning tricks with donkey's, then you need to get the fuck out.

Finally --

In what may have been the event that Turned Things Around, we all found out that Bristol Palin broke up with her longtime boyfriend, and father of her illegitimate child.

This could not be better news for borderline-perverts like me (borderline?) who love Gigantosaurous Boobs. I mean, Mom was doing pretty damn good in the jugular department, but daughter looks like Bend's balloon guy stuffed something under her dress.

Those are the biggest gat-damned teeny-bopper, single mom, mega-jugs I've ever seen. I'm drawn to that shit like hillbillies are drawn to all-you-can-eat buffet's, tractor pulls, fucking yer sister and alcoholism.

So in tribute to all the Mother-Daughter mega-hottie gang-bang 2 on 1 clusterfucks that I hope to have in Heaven, I present Bristol's now-single huge mega titties, swelled by many months of suckling for your viewing pleasure.

Bristol Palin's titties being crushed into all sort of unnatural shapes due to Milk Bustout.

"My hobbies include Mother-Daughter gang-bangs, 2 on 1's, and fucking liberals and eating them."
Hey hbm, when are we gonna fuck? I'm hungry!

A Prayer for Bend

Dear little tiny Baby Jeebus,

Thank you for blessing Bend with your bountiful love & goodness. Thank you Baby Jeebus for keeping medians high and volumes low so that Realtors don't have to work so hard.

With the blessings out of the way, I would like to ask, itty bitty tiny Baby Jeebus, that you exercise your religious powers and smite the following intolerable bullshit:

First, little tiny Jeebus, please smite all the motherfuckers that park in handicapped spots who can walk just fine. Please smite them with a car key up the side of their Cali-plated Escalade. And Baby Jeebus, smite the bitches who wait forever in parking lots for other people to leave parking spots, blocking all possible forward motion, so that they might not have to walk an extra 10 feet. Smite the fuckers who leave their shopping cart in driving lanes. Smite the dumbshits who frantically climb over people to buy stupid video game consoles. Smite the dog owners who let their motherfucking dogs bark all night, and shit in the park & don't clean it up. Bless you Baby Jeebus for smiting the fuck out of the dogs & owners who are in constant violation of this simple human decency. In general, tiny Baby Jeebus, smite selfish rude assholes, and smite 'em good.

Little tiny Baby Jeebus, please smite all lawyers. Thank you for smiting Africa with John "Hum-Job" Hummell, asshole lawyer extraordinaire, and please itty bitty Jeebus, give that cocksucker The AIDs or some other bodily-fluid transmitted disease he gets from butt-banging some underaged Afrikaner. But little bitty Baby Jeebus, please smite every motherfuckin lawyer with the AIDs & gonorrhea. I hate those fuckers & they should all die.

And little, tiny Baby Jeebus, smite all the fake-tittied, big-haired Cali skanks that have ever come to Bend. Smite these bitches, and smite their plastic surgeon as well. Smite their augmentation procedures, and little Baby Jeebus, smite their silicon implants with weak spots that burst while they are being titty-banged. Old bitches that look like Frankenstein prostitutes are an abomination, and we both know it. Little Baby Jeebus, it'll simply be easier if you smite every female Realtor in and around Bend, because they are all sleazy ex-Cali-bangers trying to look 20 while they 95. Please make them die, Baby Jeebus.

And Baby Jeebus, thank you for smiting The Plaza, The Shire, and other completely fucked-up retard projects. But Baby Jeebus, I ask you to smite the motherfuckers who lent them the money as well. Smite everyone up the financial chain responsible. Fuckers need to learn some fiscal responsibility, itty bitty baby Jeebus. But Baby Jeebus, I just ask that you not smite Patty Moss, Cascade Bancorp's CEO. It is pretty clear, little Baby Jeebus, that you done smote her ass with an ugly stick unmerciful.

Holy Shit, stop smiting this woman Baby Jeebus!

And in a related non-smiting, for the love of Christ baby Jeebus, do not smite Hillary anymore either.

Little Baby Jeebus, please discontinue the smiting of this woman.

And we thank you Baby Jeebus, for beginning this macro-smiting of all the greedy-ass builders, Realtors, crooked mortgage brokers, and every other get-rich-quick motherfucker that has moved to Bend solely to make a quick buck. But Baby Jeebus, please reserve a special smiting for Randy Sebastian, hypocritical homo-erotic mega-fag. Please, itty bitty Jeebus, smite this fucker with the flesh-eating virus, so they we never again have to endure his smug motherfucking crossed arm bullshit. Please smite Sebastian, Ron Garzini, Ray Kuratek, Jeff Holzman, Larry Craig, and maybe some other in-the-closet Republican faggots, by getting them all caught in a public toilet giving each other the circle jerk. Let Larry Craig be caught looking at Garzini's asshole, Garzini looking at Kuratek's asshole, Kuratek looking at Holzman's asshole, Holzman looking at Sebastians asshole, and Sebastian looking at plans for Shevlin Reserve, which we all know is The Asshole of Bend.

And itty, bitty precious Baby Jeebus, please smite the motherfuckin road between Bend & the Cali border. Smite every North-bound motherfucker on this road with disease, pestilence, and a shotgun blast to the head from some gun-toting LaPine "Minutemen", charged with killing the shit outta Cali bangers come to Bend & fuck it up. Please give Cali-bangers the knowledge that they are to Bend, as the US is to Iraq: Well-meaning selfish fucknuts that are wrecking the place by imposing their will on a blood-thirsty insurgent population that will slaughter their ass at all costs to get rid of them. Please little itty bitty precious Baby Jeebus, smite Cali-bangers, George Bush, fake tittied Realtors, and the US Army in one big motherfucking smiting to give us victims some measure of your intolerance, hatred, and cruel irony in wiping out unwanted invaders.

Little tiny, itty bitty Baby Jeebus, please smite the big box retail invasion of Central Oregon as well. Smite Trader Joes, if only so they'll close & take at least a few consumerist freak Cali's with them. Smite the Porsche dealer, the Mercedes dealer, and Pronghorn. Smite all upscale restaurants, like Deep and the lame ass Merenda. Smite all upscale consumerist bullshit, which as you know full well itty bitty Jeebus, would be the smiting of 95% of Bend. Please baby Jeebus, smite the consumerist nightmare that is America.

And little tiny, itty bitty Baby Jeebus, despite the fucker cutting & pasting some of the same bullshit over & over & over, do not smite BendBust. Only smite him a little when he uses the words "cunt" or "twat", or posts a link to technicolor hemorrhoids. Which of course means he would receive the All Time Mega-Smoting of the Universe. If he does it again, for the love of Christ, itty bitty Jeebus, just shove a shotgun up that cunt's twat, and pull the trigger. And little precious Baby Jeebus, do not smite Timmy. Or Bruce. Or BendBB, despite the fact that he likes to chain his nipple rings up to a paint-shaker. He's an OK guy Baby Jeebus, and I hope that you let me throw him a burrito before the years out. He's lost $200K of the $220K that he paid for his westside sugar shack, and is keeping a stiff upper lip about it. Baby Jeebus, just so you know him when you see him and will avoid smiting his ass, here is a picture of BendBB laughing uncontrollably at the funniest joke he's ever heard:

BendBB: "A girl from Nantucket. That's a good one. I cannot stop laughing."

Speaking of whacko's you can smite on an individual basis, please smite everyone on Bend City Counsel... AGAIN. You done smote 'em once it's clear, as they are the most incompetent pack of dumbfucks to ever walk this planet. But please, just one little extra bit of smiting in 2008, so that Bend is striken with some of the most fucked up shit ever, like ramps for gimps that have 1,000% markup, and even then it ain't to code.

And smite Cushman & Tebbs, pictured here:

Cushman & Tebbs (aka Crockett & Tubbs) right after a closing. Tebbs is the black dude.

Little tiny Baby Jeebus, this ain't exactly Cushman & Tebbs, but if they were dudes, this is exactly what they'd look like. So mow the 2 fuckers down whenever you have a minute.

And little, itty, bitty, tiny Baby Jeebus, smite the shit out of The Bend Bulletin, Cascade Business Buttfuckers, and KTVZ. Smite David Fisher & Anna Sowa, and smite everyone on KTVZ, even the hot chicks, for all those heinous self-serving bio pieces where we have to endure total bullshit like Christian Boris claiming he spends his days in the Cascades when we know full well that metrosexual fucker spends his nights watching gay porn. And little Baby Jeebus even smite the mega-hot Molly Hendrickson, and quasi-weird-hot Nina Mehlhaf for even participating in KTVZ's tired as shit self-serving "We're Local, so don't watch KOHD, and we were first in hi-def so try to forget the 'HD' part of KOHD, we need to keep this monopoly so we can cycle through as many hot-chicks as possible paying them rock ass bottom wages, cuz the station manager is a motherfuckin pervert" bio pieces. Please Baby Jeebus, smite that shit hard. And baby Jeebus, don't forget to smite the Bulletin for only putting RE pieces in the online version of the paper on the way up, and worthless ass bullshit pieces online now that we've busted.

And speaking of bullshit pieces, thank you Baby Jeebus for the Bulletin piece basically printing that this place is a deluded bunch of drug-addicts, by printing this quote from Sandy Henderson, new head of the perennial money-losing BendFilm:

'You know what, there’s got to be Prozac or something in the water, because everybody is happy.’

It's called KOOL-AID Sandy, and it will soon render your mind whithered & useless. And thank you baby Jeebus for this series of idiotic quotes from the same piece:

"“The brilliant thing about L.A. is you see a lot of people at the top of their game,” Henderson says. “You see the very best of it, and you see the worst."

“My question was,” says Bailey, 'Are you too big for BendFilm?’ Given her background, it was like, 'Wow, this person is such a heavy hitter. This person has been in the big leagues. Does she come with a heft that would just overwhelm anyone here in town?’

He answers his own question: “It’s clear that’s not her personality. She doesn’t bring an L.A. personality to the job.”

“Yeah, that’s the best thing I can say about her,” said Bailey. “She doesn’t have an L.A. personality.”

“She came strolling right up to me and said, 'You don’t know me, but I’m going to be on the selections committee next year, because I worked in L.A., and I know film, and I want to be involved in BendFilm.’ I was like, 'Wow, who are you?’”

Again, Baby Jeebus, smite the living fuck out of self-loathing Californians who come here to "get away from Cali-assholes & that whole Cali thing", yet the second they're here they want Central Oregon to be a carbon-copy filled with a rude-ass pack of cocksucking cannibals, just like where they came from. Please baby Jeebus, kill these L.A. glorifying - L.A. hating conflicted motherfuckers. No, scratch that Baby Jeebus: Disfigure the fuckers first, then kill them.

And little Baby Jeebus, for the love of Christ, tell me why The Bulletin has turned into some sort of fucked-up match-making whorehouse, with quotes like this?

In 1987, she moved to the U.S. She would become a legal resident and settle in Los Angeles, “with the singular goal of being involved in film, because it’s always been my passion. It’s always been my first love,” says Henderson, who incidentally is not involved in a long-term relationship.

Baby Jeebus, please tell me why the fuck the marital status of some clearly lesbian Cali-bitch who has just been promoted from selling radio ad time to running a chronic money-losing 2nd rate piece of crap film festival, is the least bit important? Please baby Jeebus, Why?

In closing baby Jeebus, we thank you for the Smitings Of 2008:

• Medians at $280K, down $100K from the all-time highs at $380K in Sept 2006.
• Patty Moss losing her CEO job at Cracker-Ass Cracker Broke Cascade Bancorp.
• The foreclosure on The Plaza, and most likely The Shire, The Garag-mahol & Tuscany Arctic Tropical Pines
• Mike Hollern for his double-dipping of bullshit with his anti-clothesline Nazification of Awbrey Butte, and his Fake Titty Auction
• Buena Vista homes rigged auction ripoff which resulted in 100% failure, which will be duplicated in their future Bend auction.

And little Baby Jeebus, please smite me & this blog, also. I'm an asshole & I know it. And itty, bitty Baby Jeebus, smite yourself & religion itself as well. What sort of fucked up indoctrination & brainwashing causes more suffering, death, and hatred than religion, I'll never know. Thank you tiny Baby Jeebus for inventing religion as the most inhumane method of population thinning ever conceived.

And Baby Jeebus, smite our fuckin troops in Iraq. And Jesse Jackson. And smite the bastards that don't want it to be "Merry Christmas", but "Happy Holidays" turning this country into some sort of Generic Religion-Agnostic Zone, fuck you & smite you in the ass. Go back to motherfuckin Syria, you Islamic fuckers. And smite all the black motherfuckers that blame Whitey for all their problems, and then while you're at it, smite Whitey. And smite liberals, conservatives, and for the love of Christ, just kill OJ. And Baby Jeebus, do not smite the Iran nuclear program, and please bring it back, so that we nuke those towel-head motherfuckers and we are dragged into a war-torn conflagration that drags our sorry ass down a peg. This country is fucked up & needs to be kicked in the balls. With a nuke.

In your name we pray, itty bitty tiny precious Baby Jeebus, AMEN.

P.S. And Baby Jeebus, tell all the commenters here that Paul-doh be on vacation for awhile & might not post for a week or 2, and if they don't like it, smite those fuckers hard.